A mizdiagnosis

Why did I choose medicine?!

Sunday, December 02, 2007
Another year coming to an end
Less than a month left until 2008 comes along. Personally I think 2006 was better than 2007, but that's because it was an eventful year for me. So much happened, so many new experiences.
Read: Recap of 2006

I remember being happy and excited about the new year when 2007 came. I decided to concentrate more on personal growth. It was like, "God , if you think something will make me into a better, wiser, more complete person, bring it on. I'm up for the challenge."

Be careful what you wish for. You might get it. The problem is, will you like what you get in the end?

Someone said to me that I think too much. Once I took that as an insult. Now when I look back, I've saved myself a lot of trouble because I took the time to sit down, and think. "The real trick in life is to turn hindsight into foresight that reveals insight."

January and February were my elective months. Nothing beats starting a new year like having a 2 months so-called 'holiday'.

Christmas is coming! Yippee!! *image source:www.stonehousecollection.com

I did a two-week attachment in Gleneagles under my godfather. While I learnt alot in the hospital, the lessons I valued were the ones that had nothing to do with medicine. There was alot to talk about with my godfather, a doctor who'd served the government until he retired: the importance of good networking, believing that it's possible to do good for those around you even with limited resources, to see every individual around you as someone worth knowing better, regardless of race and religion; treating your patient with the highest respect because you are who you are because of them... My godfather told me, "When you are willing to move mountains for any person, God himself will move mountains for you."

I even learnt some Mandarin. Conclusion: Don't bother talking to me in Mandarin, I don't know anything! *sob sob* But I am determined to take classes again in the near future. Just need to graduate from medical school first.

'Visit Malaysia 2007' was finally here.. and I went to London and Paris. Haha. Being overseas for 2 weeks made me realise how much I liked Malaysia. I don't think I would have liked living in UK. Weird, right? To think years ago I dreamt of being in 'kwai-loh' land. But I like almost everything about Malaysia: the weather, the food, the lifestyle, the shopping, the people.. what's not to like? I have my own complaints about Malaysia, but I'm proud to say it's a country I would fight for. I don't care what happens in the end, I'm all for being a true Malaysian. But I can't predict the future, sometimes life circumstances can change things. Who knows, I might end up living somewhere else. I hope not, though.. for now my heart is here.


I realised that I've never posted on my London and Paris trip.. haha..

My final semester in Seremban was a stressful one. Everyday was a routine: go to the ward, go to class, come home, go for study groups, study for exams, mess up in exams, be utterly disappointed with my results, then get stressed about finals. But in the end, I've gained friends who I trust to help me with my problems, both academic and personal ones. I've learnt to get up after each fall, to hold my head up, to be happy with what I know and to not take things like exam results so seriously. I remember sitting down with a lecturer, going over my posting exam results, with tears in my eyes, and he told me, "I was an average medical student last time. But I know what I know now because I took the time to reflect, and I always challenge myself to be better."

Until this day I have the deepest respect for him for taking the time to sit down with me and making me see how much hope there is out there, and how great a teacher he really is.


I've finally learnt the true meaning of forgiving and forgetting. Being hurt and betrayed by someone I wanted so badly to trust, I thought I could never look at him in the eye again. But after one year since I'd told him to stay away from me, it's amazing I can stand near him and have a normal conversation now, as if we didn't avoid each other at all. Unfortunately, forgiving and forgeting doesn't erase the things said and done in the past. Suddenly I've become more sensitive to the things I say or do when he's around, so much so that I can't be myself anymore. What to do, what to say next, am I being too forward or too distant? Looks like the damage's been done. Oh well, life's not perfect right? Too bad, Sasha.. better to move on. I have friends whom I feel more comfortable with, so I think I'll stick with who I'm happy being around with.

My birthday was the best yet. Thanks to friends who were willing to go out of the way to make me feel special. God bless them. Nothing makes a person feel good about themselves more than friends who love them for who they truly are.


This year I've seen so much in the people around me, I've read so much about mistakes others made in the past and what they've overcome through faith and strength, I've gained friends, lost friends, found my strength and flaws.. God knows I've been moody and irritable so many times this year, yet there were moment when I was so happy with my life. I may not be perfect, but I am not looking for perfection. It's hope that I'm looking for. The chance of finding true happiness within oneself.

"We can easily forgive a child who is afraid of the dark. The real tragedy of life is when an adult is afraid of the light" - Plato

Damnit. Height-discrimination.

One more month to 2008. One more month to make this year mean something. Bring it on, God. I'm challenged. Are you with me?

posted by Sha @ 10:54 PM  
2 Comments:
  • At 4:58 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Thanks Sha*&*

    You made my day.

    Didn't know you have such high regards for me. I was just being truthful.

    .... That lecturer who listened to your sob

     
  • At 9:29 PM, Blogger Sha said…

    is it really you?
    oh no. lecturers read my blog? err.. now i shy-shy already.

    glad that i made your day :)

     
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Name: Sha
DOB: 6th July
Email: shasynergy@gmail.com

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