| Saturday, July 26, 2008 |
| Finally! So, what's the verdict? |
First of all, I would like to apologive for the long absence. First, I've just started working as a houseman, and you know what they say about a doctor's workload right? Its crazy. Any free time I get I'll either be sleeping or going out. Sit by my computer to blog? Malas-nye.. :p
Second, my internet connection in the hostel is bad. I'm using Celcom Broadband for now, and I keep getting disconnected every 3-5 minutes.
Lastly, it's all personal: I was just too lazy to blog. What a bum I am.
So, the BIG question now.. how's working life?
I'll say it in one word: CRAP (or any other words with similar meaning).
You'll wake up at crappy hours. You'll sleep at crappy hours. You'll do crappy things. People will do crappy things to you. You'll see crappy things happening around you. The people I work with can have crappy attitude. The food I eat can be crappy. How much more crappy can things get? Medical school definitely didn't prepare me for the 'crappiness' I've gone through more than a month in the hospital I've worked in.
Yet,
I LOVE IT. I LOVE IT. I LOVE IT. I LOVE IT. I LOVE IT. I LOVE IT. I LOVE IT. I LOVE IT. I LOVE IT. I LOVE IT. I LOVE IT!!
I have never imagined anything making me happy to wake up at 5am in the morning and willing to stay awake for more than 24 hours.
I hate ward rounds, because that's where I'll be put under a microscope as I inform my superiors about what I know about my patients. I hate on-calls because I'm all alone taking care of 24 to 28 patients in the ward for 12 hours. I don't like being asked to accompany patients in the ambulance to KL just to meet 'bitchy' neurosurgeons who think yelling at you for not knowing enough about your patient is something you are willing to travel 45 minutes in a shaky ambulance while 'bagging' your patient's Ambu bag for. I hate medical officers who think they are so great, telling you over the phone, "I do not talk to housemen. Get your medical officer to talk to me." I hate missing my meals. I hate patient's and patient's relatives who make my work difficult. I hate workmates who disappear from the ward right after the ward round to have their morning breakfast, leaving me to deal with all the post-ward round issues. I hate it when my patients collapse or pass away during my on-call, causing so much delay in my work and making me deal with so much paperwork that my nurses will keep insisting must be done 'NOW'. Did I mention I hate most of my ward nurses also?
But at the end of the day, if one patient or their relative nod their head in greeting when I walk into the ward, smile at me, or thank me, or maybe even take my hand to shake it as they are discharged from the ward, no amount of crap that I have or will receive would spoil my day. To know that that alone can make me happy to do my job the best I can really makes my day.
I've lost count of the times I've burst into tears. I was trying to take blood from an oedematous 'physically and mentally-challenged' patient who couldn't talk, and when I'd poked him for the 5th time, looking at his face winch with pain each time the needle was in, my heart broke and I was in tears behind the curtains, whispering, "I'm sorry I can't get your blood. I'm sorry I can't find your veins. I'm sorry you can't talk and scold me. I'm so sorry you are in pain. I'm so sorry I'm not good enough."
I was in tears again when that patient passed away, and the nurses in my ward actually rejoiced at the fact that they didn't have to take care of him anymore.
It's a whole new world out there. But it's a world I feel I have so much to contribute to. The fact that a bum like me is willing to wake up at 5am every morning just to go through alot of crap shows how much I like my job. Imagine how happy I am when I saw my first paycheck. 2 months salary at one go! It's crappy pay, but it's still money. Woohoo! Note: Don't ask me to belanja you anytime soon, all that money is going be spent when I move out of my hostel soon.
I'll update more on other stuff later on. I have to go help a friend who's on-call now, part of our agreement to be one another's support system. Hope everyone is doing fine. Know that I miss every one of you so much and do take good care of yourself. God bless. |
posted by Sha @ 8:18 PM  |
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